Fandom Snowflake Challenge #7

[tjs_whatnot]

Day 7

In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon and explain why you love it so much.

I love the idea of this challenge, you know how I love to wax poetic about things I love. I am finding it hard, however, to narrow it down. And I could just go on and on about everything. But, well, I got to catch up and I got to do a million other things, and also, I'd like to do this sort of right.


I've already done this for White Collar, and I've already gotten ridiculous about Squishy-Face's era of Doctor Who, and in my RL that I can't link to on this public accessed post, written about my life long love of Han Solo and just reviewed the newest movie on my website--which again, can't link to on this post.

So, I thought I'd take this time and space to talk about a piece of canon that broke my heart, haunted me for decades and that I have just, a few weeks ago, worked up the nerve to watch again for the first time since it aired many, many years ago.

Since I was one years old when the M*A*S*H debuted, I know for a fact that I started watching it in syndication and reruns. But I think by the time the show ended in 1983, I was caught up and watched the final episode in real time. It's safe to say, I've literally loved this series my entire life. However, that last episode...

Well, a lot of shit happened to me when I was 12 that made me entirely too susceptible to things. There were two reasons I've never watched the episode since that last time.

Firstly, I hate goodbyes. I hate them. And like The Doctor, think that if you rip out the last page than maybe it didn't really end at all. I also think that I thought that if I didn't watch it again than I can pretend that I made up the things that hurt the most.

Only I didn't. Or, because it's me and my imagination is a dick, I made them (or one of them) much worse that it was. But only one of the things. The other thing was just as horrific as I remembered.

The thing I remembered wrong: B.J.--like Trapper John--leaves without saying goodbye to Hawkeye. *still sobs at the idea* You know what though, that would have sort of been a fitting end. And it looked like it was going to go that way for a while. But then there was the cavalcade of weepy goodbyes and I cried from everyone of them both times I've seen this episode. It's hard because they've been on the air for 10 years wishing and pining to go home and meanwhile, they've been making this family, these people they spent their lives with and who saw them through everything. You want to leave, but you don't want to leave this people.

"MASH Goodbye-Last Day At The 4077th" (Watch on YouTube)

But all the goodbyes, and my saying goodbye wasn't actually the part that I was most terrified to see again.

When I was 12 I started having extremely vivid and horrible dreams. They haunted me for years and years after. The first one I can tie directly to my life long struggle with insomnia--I didn't sleep for over a week after that dream, so terrified I was to have it again. The dream I can tie directly to the last episode of M*A*S*H. So when I started watching the series again on Netflix (the first time I think in order) I tried to convince myself that it probably wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And I had JUST almost convinced myself when I talked to my housemate about it.

ME: It's probably not as bad as I remember. It's probably nothing.
HER: (eyes bulged, shaking her head) The chicken thing?
ME: Yes. It was bad, right?
HER: (nodded and shivering) Really bad.

So yeah, The Chicken Thing.

People who have watched the series know what I'm talking about. The people who haven't... well, I imagine they're not reading this. In the grand scheme of horrible things that happen in war, maybe this wasn't the worst of them, but it was what a bit about what actually happened, but it was more about how it broke someone who up to this moment had seemed unbreakable even in the face of many, many tragedies.



And just...

Hawkeye man, Hawkeye.



I haven't the words to fully articulate just what that character means to me. I have fondness for a lot of the characters in that show, but it's Hawkeye that owns my soul. It is Hawkeye's relationship with the other characters that I cling to. He's the character I strive to create in my own work. If I were to make a list of the top ten favorite characters of all time, he would very much be on that list. Close to the top perhaps.

Comments

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

I've only seen a bit of that show, but you make me want to watch it now.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

You really should. It's great. Even now.

<333

[alisanne.livejournal.com]

The chicken thing killed me, too. I was in college when that final episode aired and we watched it as a group in the rec room and OMG. Tears, tears, tears.
What a fabulous show it was. And now I want to watch it again, too.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Right??? It was AWFUL!! I had actually forgot it happened in the final episode and so watched the entire last season filled with dread that I would ~surprise~ come upon it. :(((

I was in college when that final episode aired...

What?? Did you go to college at 14!?

♥

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

The chicken thing wasn't in the final episode, was it? I don't remember it that way.

I had such a crush on Hawkeye! And HATED Ferret Face so hard! And cried when Henry?(god, I can't remember his name) died.

I shipped Hawkeye/hotlips pretty hard too. Long before the idea of slash was planted in my mind. :D Probably a self insert. We don't looks similar, but have pretty much the exact colouring.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

It was. I don't remember it that way either. In fact, I kept waiting for it to happen and when I got to the finale and it hadn't, I half convinced myself I had dreamed the whole sequence. I think its easy to forget is because a LOT happened in that last episode. Also, it was 2 1/2 hours long so maybe it gets played in parts? Anyway, the episode starts with Hawkeye in the mental hospital with Sidney and then there's some other stuff, then The Chicken, then a time capsule, B.J. leaving early then coming back, Klinger getting married and THEN all the goodbyes. *sobs still*

I remember being terrified whenever Hawkeye and Hot Lips got together because I knew (even back then) that it would not end well. But I did love seeing them together at the same time. I don't know if I could really ship any of them more than the show did already, but I love all the relationships.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Ha! Oh god, it would have been a disaster if they'd ever gotten together! But that one episode where they were alone, and there were bombs falling around and they were clinging to each other for comfort. Yeah …

Plus, she had such shitty taste in men! She was a pretty flawed character, but she was also very sympathetic. I guess I really just wanted her to be happy, and really, I think so did Hawkeye.

Damn! Now I'm going to have to watch the whole damn series again too! It will be interesting to see what my 47 year old self sees, compared to my … 12?-16? yo self does.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Right? Such a disaster! But man, yeah... that bunker scene. <333 There are other scenes that I love even more that weren't physical at all, just them being there for each other. *sigh*

It was interesting watching it again in its entirety. So many of the things and people were just as I remembered them. But my interpretations of others had changed dramatically. Ferret Face was much more sympathetic, and Trapper was sort of a... well he had a few douche qualities I hadn't picked up on when I was 12. I remember back then, being sad when he left and it taking a while to warm to B.J. Not this time.

[apgeeksout.livejournal.com]

Aw, I love this show so much; I've been meaning to do a re-watch for the first time in years (and probably the first time in order for me, as well, as I was always watching in syndication) since Netflix added it. I've been really pleased to see it in the tagset for a couple of recent fic exchanges; I'm too chicken to offer until I do get a chunk of it rewatched, but I've been requesting it.

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, this show!

I was actually bummed, I was super excited to finally feel confident to write it for Yuletide, so I nommed it even though it's always been there, I wanted to make sure characters I cared the most about were there. So sure it would 't be a problem, that I didn't notice until it was too late, that the nomination was rejected. o___O

But there is always next year. I'm sure it was a total fluke.