Work in Progress Wednesday!
May. 22nd, 2019 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Sorry I dropped the ball last week. :( But, lets just say, you guys all KILLED it! Thank you so much for being there for each other--especially at this time where I was pretty MIA. I'd say, I'll do better from now on, but here it is almost Thursday and I'm just now turning on my computer for the first time in days.
But, I will try. You guys keep being awesome to each other though, yeah?
♥♥
But, I will try. You guys keep being awesome to each other though, yeah?
♥♥
(no subject)
Date: 2019-05-23 04:15 am (UTC)“I’m serious, Connor.” Her strong hand closed over mine. Her fingers were calloused and warm but I pulled away. I didn’t want comforted.
“You’re a detective, Kate, and a good one. But you’re not a psychologist so leave it.”
“Bullshit. A good hunk of detective work is psychology and you know it,” she challenged.
I bit at the cuticle of my thumb like I was wont to do when nervous. I couldn’t meet those pretty blue eyes. She would make me feel like I was that scared little boy I once was if I looked at her. “Kate, I can’t accept him. I know that puts you in a bad position, just like Wes and Buffy. I know it’s hard being friends with me and Dad and not being able to reconcile us.”
She leaned on the age-warped wood of the table. “That’s because you’re a pig-headed Irishman.”
I canted my eyes to meet hers, and then dropped them back to my pint glass. I did one of the shots of whiskey. “Maybe so.”
“He’s not going to give up on you,” she said, softly.
I sighed heavily. “I just wish he would.”
“You know better.”
She was right. I did. Dad called me every week and told me what was going on in his life. Well, he told the answering machine at any rate since I never picked up. He sent me emails that I deleted but not before reading. He sent me holiday cards and birthday presents. Until that, I hadn’t even known when I was born. I never thanked him, never acknowledged his efforts. The few times I had spoken to him, I told him how much I hated him. When I walked out on his wedding, he cried silently as he watched me go. Maybe Kate was right. I had my bone-crushing dream because I felt guilty over Dad, and I hated him so much I couldn’t even have him in my dreams. I was a wicked creature but what else could be expected of a bastard demon half breed?
“He erased me, Kate. Like I never existed. Like he never wanted me.”
Her hand was across the table and back again so fast I couldn’t stop her slap. My face stung from the concussion. “He did it because he loved you. You know this. He did what he thought would make you safe and happy because you were dying inside, Connor. Rotting and spreading your decay to others.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “He never fought hard enough for me, Kate,” I whispered. “He just let me go. Every time things got difficult with me, he let me go.” I scrubbed my hand over my eyes, trying to grind away the tears.
“No one’s ever going to convince you otherwise, are they?” Kate scowled at me. There was no pity in her eyes for me but I didn’t really deserve any. “Maybe next time you have the dream, I won’t come here.”
I nodded but I knew she would. She always would.
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Date: 2019-05-24 11:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-05-24 11:22 pm (UTC)Go you! ❤