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Okay, time to tease a bit with my first fic for the inaugural Kingsman Reverse Bang. It's Merlahad (Merlin/Harry) and pretty much a complete AU. Harry is the Marquess Cardoc, with a mother that would send the Devil running for the hills, Merlin is a writer of genre fiction who is suffering through the first writer's block of his career. Thirty years ago, Harry and Merlin had shared student accommodations, but had little to do with each other. A chance encounter at Kingsman Tailors briefly reunites the pair.

Ultimately, this will be a fake dating story. It took nearly 13k to get them to actually talk to each other.

Two weeks pass and Merlin gets a call from Kingsman – the tailors, not the publishers – letting him know that his tuxedo and the new suit he'd order are ready for fitting. Merlin indulges in a bit of foolish hope about another encounter with Hart at the tailors, but this time they would actually talk to each other.

It is not to be – there is no sign of Harry Hart at the shop when Merlin arrives for his appointment. As Andrew checks the fit of the tuxedo, Merlin can't help himself and asks, "When I was here a few weeks ago, I thought I recognized an old acquaintance – a housemate from my days at Cambridge. It's been a long time and I not sure, but was that Harry Hart?"

Andrew hums and puts a pin in the waistband of the trousers Merlin's trying on. After an almost too-lengthy pause, he says, "Yes, I believe that Lord Hart had been in the shop when you had been in for your consultation."

"Lord Hart?" Merlin wonders if Andrew had somehow become privy to his nighttime fantasies.

"Yes, Lord Hart – he'd inherited his father's honors about fifteen years ago. He is the Marquess Cardoc now."

Merlin feels like an utter fool. "I did not know that. Hart hadn't used a courtesy title when we knew each other."

But rather than chide Merlin for his ignorance, Andrew just nods.

Merlin still feels extremely wrong footed and asks a stupid question. "He is a client of Kingsman?"

Andrew gives him a deprecating smile. "We do not discuss such private matters."

"Of course not." Stung and humiliated, Merlin is silent through the rest of the fitting.

"The suit will need a final fitting in another three weeks, but your tuxedo will be ready by Friday. Shall we deliver it?"

"Please. I would appreciate that." Still embarrassed, Merlin is reluctant to return to Kingsman any time soon. When he gets home, Merlin checks the Cardoc entry in Debrett's. The current title isn't ancient, no Marquessate is, but the subordinate titles are. The Earl of Wortham had been created by Elizabeth Tudor and granted to the Viscount Harnley. That honor had been granted to Baron Hart by Henry II; the first Baron Hart had been ennobled by Stephen of Blois in 1149.

Well, at least Hart's name does not go all the way back to the Doomsday Book, Merlin thinks with a touch of hysteria.

Before he closes the book, Merlin gives into temptation and reads just a little bit more about the current Marquess; he discovers that Harry isn't married and doesn't have any children. The heir presumptive is his brother, Peter, and Peter has three sons. Merlin doesn't quite know what to make of that. Even in these modern times, nobility – especially from such an ancient family – is expected to marry and reproduce.

With discipline and determination, Merlin pushes all thoughts of the Marquess Cardoc out of his mind, not letting himself indulge in the slightest fantasy. He has a novel to write and there's a lot of work yet to be done.

Ten days after Kingsman delivers his tuxedo, Victoria calls and asks if he'd like to accompany her to a small event for some worthy charity. Merlin accepts; this is what he needs to do and he can't afford to be distracted by impossibilities.