Every part of this day was aggravating or downright infuriating. I had to go 80 miles to the surgeon. I leave in plenty of time because I have a gift card for Trader Joes from JK so my plan is to go further north to Dublin to go to TJs and then drop down to the surgeon's appt at 4.

My usual trip to Chillicothe (the halfway point) which is usually 45 minute drive took nearly 1 1/2 hours thanks to construction. I make a pit stop at TJ Maxx there because a) I need to pee and it's hours before the doctor and I don't think Trader's has a public bathroom b) to see if Halloween was on sale yet (yes but nothing I wanted).

It then takes me an HOUR to get to Circleville 20 miles from Chillicothe and 20 miles from the 270 beltloop around Columbus (Dublin and Grove Port are both suburbs of Columbus). This should have taken less than half that. OMG the construction. Holy shit. It's now 3:00 there is NO way to get to Columbus and then all the way up to Dublin and back so I pop in to see the main town square. I found 2 metaphysical stores which cool.

And then the traffic was SO bad, it took 55 minutes to go the 15 miles to the office. I barely made it. And then everything went downhill


The surgeon comes in while his nurse is STILL taking my vitals (in fact she had to finish after he left) he says, 'I'll see you in a year for another ultrasound as these are small now' and he turns around to LEAVE. He has been in the room a total of 60 second and I lose it. Very politely but I lose it.

Excuse me but isn't one of them a TR 4 with a moderate to high risk of cancer?

Surgeon - yes but it's very small

Me - then what is compressing my air way?

Surgeon - it's only as big as a fingernail, nothing to worry about

Me - then what is compressing my airway/ Shouldn't you at least do a needle biopsy on the TR4 ones?

Surgeon -No. maybe you need to see a pulmonologist

Me - or a Gastroenterologist because it's causing swallowing issues and hey I can see the lump in my neck right here (points because I wore a v-neck for that very reason) so there is something there. It's visible by the naked eye. I do have GERD, could this be Barret's esophagus?

Surgeon (eyes light up) when was your last endoscopy

Me - ten years and 20 on the colonoscopy

Surgeon (turns to his nurse) set her up for both and he's out the door.

She tries and the only day I wouldn't have to take off I'd have to go into Columbus and no way would I ask a friend to do that. I say I'll call you and hey, why wasn't this a zoom telehealth meeting? I drove 160 miles round trip for him to say I'll see you in a week.

I leave so damn furious I'm surprised they didn't need to haul me out of there kicking and screaming.

My new plan is Fuck this man and his whole department (if that's all he was going to do he could have worked me three weeks ago when that mix up happened) I wouldn't let him touch me if he was the last surgeon in Ohio. I'll be calling my PCP. I have the name of the ENT who did the work on my coworker's fiance. This needs a second opinion. (surgeons are cutters. That's what they want to do so this might not need surgeon but his cavalier attitude has pissed me the fuck off) I know this guy needs a referral so I'll call my PCP, get that and ask her for a referral to gastro and/or pulmonologist. Anywhere but with this guy.

So I get back into traffic to go 8 miles to the casino (where I plan to eat). 45 minutes later I'm still not there. When I finally roll in, I realize I made an error. I forgot that at the renn fest there was no internet so I had used all my cash. I was down to my last 30 bucks.

No problem, that'll carry me to 5:00pm when Guy Fieri's Trattatoria opens....only it didn't. I guess it's not open on a Tuesday. I didn't see that on the web page (it was there, I missed it) So I leave with my last 2 bucks and head to chillicothe.

Only an hour later and I'm still only 8 miles from the casino because of construction. I finally get past Circleville and to chillicothe and someone nearly hits me on the offramp by passing me on the right (in a construction zone) running me off the ramp and back onto the highway (we all somehow didn't die). No problem I'll get off the next exit. It's closed. I had to go all the way to the historic downtown exit and thread my way up. My sugar has dropped and I decide I deserve a treat: Red Lobster.

What a mistake. I was creeped out. I was the ONLY person there at 6 pm except for a couple they sat me behind (two more groups showed up about 10 minutes later) 6 people in a restaurant with 3 wings...They've changed the menu. Only 2 things were under 30 dollars and most were above 40. I could have gotten a meal and appetizer at Guy's (and that place aint' cheap). The cheddar bay biscuits were burnt and the size of 50 cent pieces and the hush puppies the size of marbles. Yeah there's a reason this place is empty (It used to be good. I go there a few times a year).

I had to make a pitstop in Jackson for money because I have to go all the way to Huntington tomorrow and my bank isn't in Rio or Gallipolis.


And since today was so pissy let me continue in that vein with my Fannish 50. I'm back to 'fans, for fuck's sake, no one owes you a damn thing. You don't get to dictate to the creator who and what their characters are and what they look like, date etc. Case in Point

1. The Amazing Digital Circus - someone decided to draw Jax as Daisy a transgendered woman, no problem. trans head canon is nothing new. However this has somehow stirred fandom who wants it at canon and this Daisy has dissolved into a toxic mess to the point Gooseworx who created it had to step in

2. Knights of Guinevere - remember me wondering if Frankie was trans. I'm not alone (keep in mind the only thing that exists right now is the pilot and that'll be the case for a while). The pilot has had like 10 million views in 10 days and there's a huge fandom already. So Dana Terrance (the creator) said 'Frankie is a cis woman, she just has a lot of nicknames' (even I side eyed that because most often we don't get called Franklin and Francesa, Frankie yes but Franklin? okay then) Anyhow, some of the fans lost their damn minds about that leveling death threats at Dana and the voice actors because Frankie isn't trans (Dana came back to say she's fine with trans head canons but Frankie is cis)

3. Hazbin Hotel - This is Husk (my favorite character btw) Original design pre-series and from the series

There is now fan onslaughts about 'why aren't you portraying Husk as fat?' 'Stop drawing him thin!' 'We all agree Husk has to be shown as fat.'

Eyes the canon art. Side eyes fans. Look, if you want to give Husk a dad bod, go nuts. You want him fat in your head canon? Ain't no one stopping you. You deciding to harass authors, artists and the original creators? Just stop. Husk is thin (dude doesn't eat, just drinks) In the future, I'm going to have to put feederism as a DNW in my challenges as this is not my kink but there is such a push to fatten up Husk (and Angel and Willow over in The Owl House) I do not understand why big vocal chunks of fandom insist their way is the only way to the point of threatening the creators when they don't get their way.



But to end on a happy note I had a break through on a novel I've shelved for two reasons. 1 it was getting too political and angry for the story I wanted to tell 2. the one character of color whose culture I was pulling from a few Indigenous groups was really at odds as well for the job at hand. I was borrowing the Navajo death aversion (for example) but this is a character who is working with dead bodies, adopted siblings with a necromancer and might need to kill in her job. It made her look weak and othered. I didn't like it. I didn't want to change her skin color but I did want a different culture for her and her people.

But seeing the trees changing colors, watching a gathering herb video the other day, I thought, what if their culture believes in animism and pull a page from William Murdoch's book. She doesn't need to do the sign of the cross at a dead body of course but maybe she has a little prayer for the departed, that she believes plants and animals and river etc all have their own spirit as important as her own. I think that would work.